You have now been taught the four regulation skills we use in ERT—orienting, allowing, distancing, and reframing. We teach these mindful regulation skills in this sequence because they come in order of least elaborative to most elaborative. We encourage you to use them in the order we introduced them in hopes that the early, less elaborative skills will be sufficient to restore clarity for action, but that the more elaborative skills remain available if needed. Use as many skills as necessary, in order, to gain clarity for action and to take action (counter-action and pro-action).
As a reminder, counter-action refers to responding to an action according to a desired outcome whereas pro-action refers to planning an action according to a desired outcome.
Practicing the skills off-line (e.g., longer, scheduled practice) and on-the-spot (e.g., briefer, impromptu) are akin to working out in a gym or rehearsing a musical instrument. The more we practice the off-line versions of these skills, the more effective we will be in using the skills in-the-moment, in emotionally intense or challenging situations.
